Don’t Say These 10 Things To Your Flight Attendant

Being a flight attendant cannot be an easy job, that’s probably why you see a high turnover rate in that profession. It’s also an occupation that has a high burnout rate, meaning people tend to flame out sooner than later. I completely understand as I was a frequent traveler – I’ve seen my fair share of horror stories.

Give your flight attendant a break by not being a huge piece of shit and don’t ever say these things to them.

Stewardess

“Excuse me, Stewardess”. CRINGE. They hate being called a stewardess, it’s not the 1950s, you are no Jon Hamm nor are you a Mad Men, so just don’t. There is no need to be rude when dealing with people in the service industry, they have to be pleased with you, don’t make them hate you. Refer to them as “Sir” or “Ma’m” or “excuse me” is even better.

What do you have to drink?

Oh boy, here we go, first-time traveler mistake here. It is not the flight attendant’s job to inform you about what beverage the plane serves, there is a menu in your seat back clearly stating all the food and drinks served. Save yourself the embarrassment and the flight attendants time and look in advance. Or, you could just say water; I bet you they have that.

What’ up with the internet?

They have zero control on the in-flight internet speed or disturbances in the service. There is no mystery flight attendant internet control lever that allows them to mess with passengers, although sometimes I bet they wish there was. They have enough on their busy hands; they don’t have time to deal with your stupid questions.

What about me?

The world doesn’t revolve around you, and this is no different. The flight attendant has no control on whether you make your connecting flight or not, so just don’t even ask them.   Selfishness isn’t going to get you to the plane faster, but what they can help you with is allowing you to exit the plane first. Then it’s up to you if you can home Alone our way through the airport and catch your flight.

I’ll turn off my phone when I’m done

No, you will turn it off when the pilot or flight attendant tells you to turn it off. This is a serious crime and if you piss the flight attendant off, they can and will alert the airport authority and have you removed from the plane.

The last flight attendant let me

Nobody cares what you’re entitled self thinks you can get away with. Just because some other flight attendant didn’t have the energy to stop you from doing whatever it is you were doing, it doesn’t give you any special right. Plus, they don’t want to hear your sob story about why you are special, I’m sure you are.

Are we there yet?

Ok, you are not a child and if you are trying to be funny… you are not. Hearing this even makes me mad. Air travel can be very tedious and having a bad attitude won’t help any situation.

Help me with my heavy bag

The flight attendant isn’t a baggage handler and shouldn’t be expected to lift your overstuffed bag into the overhead compartment. If you aren’t physically able to lift your luggage then ask another passenger and not the flight attendant to help you, I’m sure you can find a strong person to help.

Bomb

NEVER SAY THIS! Seriously, no joke here, you will get arrested and make an ass out of yourself. Also don’t tell the flight attendant that you are not a terrorist, cause literally, you are being the definition of one. In this post 9/11 world, this is never acceptable.

How many alcoholic drinks can I order?

Ok, you lush, why put a limit on it when if you are cool and not acting out of control, a flight attendant won’t stop serving you. Just order a drink or two at a time and leave it at that. If that isn’t enough, then you do know that you can bring your own airplane bottles of alcohol on the plane. They sell them in most liquor stores and in some airports.