Insane Travel Gadgets

Welcome to the future friends, a world where women are peeing standing up, people are sleeping like ostriches and farts are now odorless.  The world of travel gadgets is getting insane and I’m diving in head first.

Ok, I’ve now officially seen it all, these gadgets inventors now have absolutely nothing left to invent. If you have spent any amount of time on an airplane, then I’m sure you have taken a gander at the Sky Mall magazine. This hilarious catalogue is a hodgepodge of weird and wacky inventions that are supposed to make life much easier, but in reality all these things do is clutter up our life.

If you are like me though, you love gadgets and can’t get enough of any new technology or cool doohickey. My wife has even implemented a plan in the event that I purchase another useless invention; I have to get rid of something if I come home with anything new. Our rule is simple, something comes in: something else needs to go. As a man who loves gadgets, my house is a continuous revolving door of funky products and useless inventions.

I’ve scoured the internet for ridiculous travel inventions and I’ve compiled my favorites here, I hope you enjoy.  

Knee Defender

I was first alerted of the Knee Defender in a news article about an air rage incident where a fight broke out over legroom. The airlines have been reducing the legroom on their flights for decades and now the passengers are literally starting to fight back. The Knee Defender is a pair of small pieces of plastic that restricts the amount an airplane seat can recline. This gadget actually attaches to the seat in front of you at the bottom of your tray table and the passenger ahead of you won’t know why their seat can’t recline. This is obviously a fight waiting to happen.

I see the perfect scenario where an airline passenger has had a few cocktails to relax and the person behind them attaches the Knee Defender without their knowledge and when the intoxicated person attempts to recline their seat, a huge argument occurs. A fight breaks out between the two while the plane is in flight and it now has to make an emergency landing, both passengers are taken to jail and the Knee Defender gets lots of free publicity. Then the Knee Defender will probably go on Shark Tank and Mr. Wonderful; will buy into it because he is a horrible person and terrible people all over will but them.  

The Knee Defender seems like an invention for passive aggressive people all over the globe, probably going to sell a million of these things.

GasBGon Flatulence Odor Control Seat Cushion

This next gadget actually has some merit and grabbed my attention immediately.  It’s no secret that planes are fart zones; the constant noise makes farting a breeze, but the smell will get you caught every time. Now the all-new GasBGon Flatulence Odor Control Seat Cushion is here to help with your stinky farts.  The name could use some work, maybe try something shorter and something that isn’t 6 words, geez.  This handy little seat cushion also doubles as a fart barrier so the smell doesn’t affect all the other passengers. I honestly don’t know anyone who would buy this thing, because once the fart leaves my behind, it’s not my problem anymore.

This is the country that went crazy for the pet rock and the shamwow, so who knows, maybe this will be the next Furby. I’m still bewildered by the actual technology behind this, but i hope for all our sakes that it works.  Talk about revolutionizing our world with this gadget, this is like sliced bread or the wheel.

GoGirl Female Urination Device (FUD)

I thought this was a joke until I actually did some research. The GoGirl is a real product and has been around apparently for years. I first heard of this gadget on the Howard Stern Show so I obviously assumed it was a bit for the show, boy oh boy was I wrong. It’s basically a female funnel that the woman uses so she can urinate standing up, solving an age-old problem. No more sitting down or squatting behind a tree for you lady adventurers. No word on what you do with the GoGirl once it’s been used, although I would toss it in trash, seems wasteful to me.

I’m all for female empowerment and if they want to strand and pee next to me at a urinal, cool.  Welcome to the club ladies, just keep that thing away from me, it seems quite unsanitary. 

Ostrich Pillow

The Ostrich Pillow is an odd looking device that is apparently supposed to help with sleeping in public.  The problem with this invention is it looks so ridiculous, how is this going to help you feel more comfortable sleeping in public?  The pillow is made to reproduce the way an ostrich sticks its head in the sand to sleep. I for one have never dreamed of sleeping like an ostrich, but now I can. With holes for your arms as well as head, the pillow is certainly going to turn heads in airports and train stations all over the world.

The infomercial does look pretty sweet for the Ostrich Pillow, which can double as a horrifying Halloween costume.  Check for it next time you want to scare a child or sleep like a big bird, maybe you can nap on Sesame Street.

This is just the start to all the insane travel gadgets I’ve found online, so expect more articles to follow with more goofy items from around the web.

Photos Courtesy of TheVerge, Sur.ly, DailyMail, GoPako, tenthandforth