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Insane Travel Gadgets

Welcome to the future friends, a world where women are peeing standing up, people are sleeping like ostriches and farts are now odorless.  The world of travel gadgets is getting insane and I’m diving in head first. Ok, I’ve now officially seen it all, these…

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Welcome to the future friends, a world where women are peeing standing up, people are sleeping like ostriches and farts are now odorless.  The world of travel gadgets is getting insane and I’m diving in head first.

Ok, I’ve now officially seen it all, these gadgets inventors now have absolutely nothing left to invent. If you have spent any amount of time on an airplane, then I’m sure you have taken a gander at the Sky Mall magazine. This hilarious catalogue is a hodgepodge of weird and wacky inventions that are supposed to make life much easier, but in reality all these things do is clutter up our life.

If you are like me though, you love gadgets and can’t get enough of any new technology or cool doohickey. My wife has even implemented a plan in the event that I purchase another useless invention; I have to get rid of something if I come home with anything new. Our rule is simple, something comes in: something else needs to go. As a man who loves gadgets, my house is a continuous revolving door of funky products and useless inventions.

I’ve scoured the internet for ridiculous travel inventions and I’ve compiled my favorites here, I hope you enjoy.  

 

Knee Defender

I was first alerted of the Knee Defender in a news article about an air rage incident where a fight broke out over legroom. The airlines have been reducing the legroom on their flights for decades and now the passengers are literally starting to fight back. The Knee Defender is a pair of small pieces of plastic that restricts the amount an airplane seat can recline. This gadget actually attaches to the seat in front of you at the bottom of your tray table and the passenger ahead of you won’t know why their seat can’t recline. This is obviously a fight waiting to happen.

I see the perfect scenario where an airline passenger has had a few cocktails to relax and the person behind them attaches the Knee Defender without their knowledge and when the intoxicated person attempts to recline their seat, a huge argument occurs. A fight breaks out between the two while the plane is in flight and it now has to make an emergency landing, both passengers are taken to jail and the Knee Defender gets lots of free publicity. Then the Knee Defender will probably go on Shark Tank and Mr. Wonderful; will buy into it because he is a horrible person and terrible people all over will but them.  

The Knee Defender seems like an invention for passive aggressive people all over the globe, probably going to sell a million of these things.

 

GasBGon Flatulence Odor Control Seat Cushion

This next gadget actually has some merit and grabbed my attention immediately.  It’s no secret that planes are fart zones; the constant noise makes farting a breeze, but the smell will get you caught every time. Now the all-new GasBGon Flatulence Odor Control Seat Cushion is here to help with your stinky farts.  The name could use some work, maybe try something shorter and something that isn’t 6 words, geez.  This handy little seat cushion also doubles as a fart barrier so the smell doesn’t affect all the other passengers. I honestly don’t know anyone who would buy this thing, because once the fart leaves my behind, it’s not my problem anymore.

This is the country that went crazy for the pet rock and the shamwow, so who knows, maybe this will be the next Furby. I’m still bewildered by the actual technology behind this, but i hope for all our sakes that it works.  Talk about revolutionizing our world with this gadget, this is like sliced bread or the wheel.

 

GoGirl Female Urination Device (FUD)

I thought this was a joke until I actually did some research. The GoGirl is a real product and has been around apparently for years. I first heard of this gadget on the Howard Stern Show so I obviously assumed it was a bit for the show, boy oh boy was I wrong. It’s basically a female funnel that the woman uses so she can urinate standing up, solving an age-old problem. No more sitting down or squatting behind a tree for you lady adventurers. No word on what you do with the GoGirl once it’s been used, although I would toss it in trash, seems wasteful to me.

I’m all for female empowerment and if they want to strand and pee next to me at a urinal, cool.  Welcome to the club ladies, just keep that thing away from me, it seems quite unsanitary. 

 

Ostrich Pillow

The Ostrich Pillow is an odd looking device that is apparently supposed to help with sleeping in public.  The problem with this invention is it looks so ridiculous, how is this going to help you feel more comfortable sleeping in public?  The pillow is made to reproduce the way an ostrich sticks its head in the sand to sleep. I for one have never dreamed of sleeping like an ostrich, but now I can. With holes for your arms as well as head, the pillow is certainly going to turn heads in airports and train stations all over the world.

The infomercial does look pretty sweet for the Ostrich Pillow, which can double as a horrifying Halloween costume.  Check for it next time you want to scare a child or sleep like a big bird, maybe you can nap on Sesame Street.

 

This is just the start to all the insane travel gadgets I’ve found online, so expect more articles to follow with more goofy items from around the web.

 

Photos Courtesy of TheVerge, Sur.ly, DailyMail, GoPako, tenthandforth

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Skiing vs Snowboarding: How to choose

Skiing versus snowboarding is an age-old discussion or at least a few decades old. It’s winter, the snow is falling all around and you can’t decide which winter sport you want to try. Sure, you have friends who have done both and they all give you differing opinions as to which sport you should give […]

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Skiing versus snowboarding is an age-old discussion or at least a few decades old. It’s winter, the snow is falling all around and you can’t decide which winter sport you want to try. Sure, you have friends who have done both and they all give you differing opinions as to which sport you should give a try. Skiers will tell you that snowboarding is for kids and snowboarders will tell you that skiing is lame. Who do you listen to and how do you choose?

 

I’ll be your impartial observer who gives you both sides of the story and you can decide your own fate. I’ll dictate some good talking points and some funny observations I’ve made in my over 20 plus years of winter sports participation. That’s all I’ll classify my activity as, I’m not an Olympic athlete nor am I completely uncoordinated. I am however a decent athlete and more than competent at both sports.

 

Snowboard

Style:

When discussing snowboarding, fashion is number one. Snowboarding culture is closely related to skateboarding, including their style and general demeanor. Snowboarders wear baggier clothing, the funkier the better with multiple clashing patterns. Snowboarders think they are cooler than they are and that attitude to important if you wish to emulate their style. Baggy pants and loose fitting jackets are the norm and you’d benefit from a cool beanie, like the hipster wear.

Vernacular:

The way one speaks is definitive to their culture and snowboarders definitely have their own traditions. Get ready to drop more “Dudes” and “Bros” than you are accustomed to. A snowboarders’ verbiage is similar to surfers and skaters. Also, break out your high fiving hand and be prepared to slap a few.

Boots:

The boots may be the classic difference between the two sports. Snowboarding boots are softer and cooler than ski boots. Snowboard boots are also much easier to walk around in, which makes a huge difference. These boots resemble normal winter boots except they are generally thicker and stiffer.

 

 

Ski

Style:

Skier style is more focused on speed and function than form. Skiers normally travel at a higher velocity than snowboarders so their outfits are tighter and more aerodynamic. You’ll notice bright colors and smoother fabrics, which help with speed and control.  

Also a huge difference between the two is skiers have poles. Poles help with balance and increase in the ease of moving on flat ground, which is a huge disadvantage to snowboarders.

Vernacular:

Skiers will speak of moguls and black diamonds, which will hardly be spoken by a snowboarder. Moguls are the bumpy sections of harder slopes and black diamonds reference the hardest and steepest courses. Snowboarders tend to stay away from black diamonds and tend to hang in the snowboard park. Skiers tend to speak in perfect sentences and mention lattes often.

Boots:

Once again the biggest divide between the two are the boots used. Ski boots are extremely stiff and almost impossible to walk around. Snowboarders will habitually make fun of the duck like walks of skiers. Ski boots are stiff to give the rider much more control at high speeds.

 

These are just a few of the differences between skiing and snowboarding, now it’s up to you to chose your poison. Skiing or snowboarding, it’s a tough decision, why not try both, and see what fits your style better.

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Glamping (Glamorous Camping): Pick your Shelter

Shelter Camping is a wonderful way to connect with nature and clear out all the stress that a modern world creates. This is true unless the idea of being dirty in the woods is a nightmare scenario, for these people I introduce GLAMPING. Glamping is glamorous camping, or camping with more modern conveniences and amenities. […]

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Shelter

Camping is a wonderful way to connect with nature and clear out all the stress that a modern world creates. This is true unless the idea of being dirty in the woods is a nightmare scenario, for these people I introduce GLAMPING. Glamping is glamorous camping, or camping with more modern conveniences and amenities. It is possible to camp and not get dirty, I know it’s blasphemous to many, but so is not being clean to others. It’s time to open up your mind and accept that some people enjoy being clean, so here are my tips to Glamping shelters and picking what is best for you.

Glamping all begins with choosing which type of shelter fits your needs best.

 http://www.rainier.com/

Yurt:

Yurts are an interesting option and not just because they are fun to say. Yurts are basically permanent tents and possibly the most rustic many glampers will go. You will soon find out that a yurt is usually canvas covering wrapped around a wooden frame. Seems pretty basic and that’s exactly what it is. There will be zero insulation for warmth but these are waterproof so you will stay dry but not cozy.  

Comfort level: 4 out of 10

 

Luxury Tent:

This is the baseline for glamping and anything below this is just camping. A luxury tent usually is made up of multiple rooms, zipper less doors and as little modern conveniences as possible. Don’t be fooled by their false claims of luxury, these tents are just bigger and more difficult to set up. These are basically made as an introduction to normal camping or glamping, dependant on where you are coming from.

Comfort Level: 2 out of 10

 http://www.momondo.com/

Tree House:

Now we are getting into some interesting choices for glamping shelters. Tree houses are becoming more and more popular because of popular television shows about tree house builders. Gone are the days of tree houses just being for children, now adults are enjoying their functionality. Tree houses give users an out of the ordinary perspective on nature and help increase the overall enjoyment of outdoors living. Many will have some power but few have running water. Expect a pretty primitive experience.

Comfort Level: 5 out of 10

 http://www.stardust.com/tipigigante.html

Teepee:

Bringing it back to the native’s preferred mode of shelter, the tipi is a favorite among the spiritual travelers. Teepees bring out a real primal sense and create a mystical meeting place for glampers of all levels. You must remember that teepees are basically yurts or a tent, so your luxury lies solely with the coverings used. Many times animal pelts are used to cover the teepee.

Comfort Level: 2 out of 10

 http://www.countryliving.com/

RV/Tiny House:

The most luxurious way to glamp of course is to stay in a RV or a tiny home. RV’s have always been a favorite of the glampers whether they are at Coachella or the Kentucky Derby. Tiny homes are relatively new to the glamping world but are also popular due to many new reality shows. These little guys have all the conveniences of a larger home but on a miniature scale. Running water and electricity are almost always included. RVs and Tiny homes are the ultimate tool to any glamper.

Comfort Level: 9 out of 10

 

 

Cabin/Cottage:

Glamping at its finest and truest form, a cabin has all the amenities of a normal home. Renting a cabin will be the easiest way to ease someone into the outdoors lifestyle while still maintaining his or her level of luxury. Cabins usually have electricity and running water, but don’t expect it, that is something I recommend checking on before booking. Bugs and vermin may be an issue since many cabins and cottages go empty for long periods of time

Comfort Level: 7 out of 10

 

Enjoy these choices for glamping and get your hands an acceptable level of dirty.

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Don’t go to the snow without packing these!

Winter is in full swing as snow is falling and temperatures are dropping. The snowfall this season has been extraordinary and outdoor enthusiasts are in freshie powder heaven. The snow has reached record levels in parts of California, Colorado and Utah so if you are a winter sport adventurer then the season is upon you. […]

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Winter is in full swing as snow is falling and temperatures are dropping. The snowfall this season has been extraordinary and outdoor enthusiasts are in freshie powder heaven. The snow has reached record levels in parts of California, Colorado and Utah so if you are a winter sport adventurer then the season is upon you. If you’re planning a trip to a mountain resort then you can’t forget to pack these must have items.

Ski pants, jacket, gloves and a warm hat go without explanation, because if you need to be told to bring these then maybe you shouldn’t be going in the first place.
Here are some items that are often forgotten.

Warm socks
A good pair of ski socks are so crucial to your comfort and often overlooked. Many people just toss their old gym socks in their ski bag and call it a day. Boo to you I say. Any skier or boarder worth their weight will tell you that cotton is not the way to go. A wool blend or synthetic sock is the best way to go. I advise a trip to your local sports store or ski shop to find the perfect pair. When shopping for socks, make sure they are not too tight because proper circulation is key to keeping your extremities nice and toasty.

Long johns or Thermals
Fashion be damned when skiing or snowboarding is all about keeping warm and dry. Layering is your best friend and it’s always smart to start off with a quality pair of thermal long underwear.  Steer clear of the cheap stuff and invest in a nice pair, this time I recommend cotton or a blend. Synthetic fabric doesn’t breathe as well and you want sole of the heat to escape so you don’t sweat too much.

Hand and feet warmers
These little buggers are a lifesaver. What many people don’t understand is that skiing and snowboarding is actually about 60% sitting in the ski lift, so hand and foot warmers come in handy. See what I did there, pun time!  These guys can be found at almost any store in a colder climate, usually by the checkout register. If no luck there, I guarantee them to be at ski shops or a sporting goods store. They cost less than a few dollars and last up to 8 hours.

Adventure pack
A good quality adventure backpack or waist pack are key to any good ski trip. When buying one, look for a secondary securing apparatus like a waist or chest strap. This will help with all the vigorous activity you are about to do.
A good pack can hold all your stuff and so much needed water. Staying hydrated is important and often over looked because you are in cold weather. I like a pack that also has a hydration system, like a Camelback.

Goggles/sunglasses
It’s so bright in the mountain during the day it’s crazy. My first time skiing I was amazed at how blinded I was from the sun reflecting off the snow. Grab a cheap pair of shades that you don’t mind breaking or losing.
Nighttime skiing can be dangerous without a good pair or goggles. The wind is whipping around and snow can be blinding, so quality goggles can save the night.

Sunscreen
Everyone always forgets the sunscreen. I understand, you figure it’s cold and you are all bundled up, but you don’t know want to look like a raccoon when you return home.  I recommend a strong sun block, SPF 50 or above and get a waterproof or sweatproof one. You’d be surprised at how much you actually sweat when skiing or snowboarding.

Helmet
We aren’t all professional snowboarders or skiers so grab a helmet and wear it. They serve multiple purposes; a) to keep your noggin safe and b) to keep that same noggin warm. Most of your body heat escapes through the head and a stocking cap doesn’t always work best. You can rent a helmet at every reputable ski resort and most ski rental shops. They want you to come back so they always offer helmets for safety reasons.

Comfy sweats
When you get off the slopes and take a long hot shower or jacuzzi you are going to want some comfortable sweats to lounge in, believe me. The warmer and softer the better, your sore body will thank you.

Flask
I’m not advocating skiing or snowboarding drunk but a little nip of an old flask always warms you up from the inside out. Maybe save this for after your skiing is done for the day or maybe not, I’m not your parent or guardian.

GoPro
These little guys are awesome and getting increasingly more affordable. They are impact and water resistant so throw them into your adventure pack and capture all the amazing memories. Just make sure the battery is charged and memory card is empty so you don’t accidentally tape over your kid’s recital.

Good luck out there and remember to have fun, life is too short.

 

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