Don’t Ever Say these 10 things to a Flight Attendant – Jetlaggin
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Don’t Ever Say these 10 things to a Flight Attendant

Don’t Ever Say these 10 things to a Flight Attendant Being a flight attendant cannot be an easy job, that’s probably why you see a high turnover rate in that profession. It’s also an occupation that has a high burnout rate, meaning people tend to flame out sooner than later. I completely understand, I as […]

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Don’t Ever Say these 10 things to a Flight Attendant

Being a flight attendant cannot be an easy job, that’s probably why you see a high turnover rate in that profession. It’s also an occupation that has a high burnout rate, meaning people tend to flame out sooner than later. I completely understand, I as a frequent traveler I’ve seen my fair share of horror stories.

Give your flight attendant a break by not being a huge piece of shit and don’t ever say these things to them.

 

Stewardess

“Excuse me, Stewardess”. CRINGE. They hate being called a stewardess, its not the 1950s, you are no Jon Hamm nor are you a Mad Men, so just don’t. There is no need to be rude when dealing with people in the service industry, they have to be pleasant with you, don’t make them hate you. Refer to them at “Sir” or “Ma’m” or “excuse me” is even better.

 

What do you have to drink?

Oh boy, here we go, first time traveler mistake here. It is not the flight attendant’s job to inform you about what beverage the plane serves, there is a menu in your seat back clearly stating all the food and drinks served. Save yourself the embarrassment and the flight attendants time and look in advance. Or, you could just say water; I bet you they have that.

 

What’ up with the internet?

They have zero control on the in-flight internet speed or disturbances in the service. There is no mystery flight attendant internet control lever that allows them to mess with passengers, although sometimes I bet they wish there was. They have enough on their busy hands; they don’t have time to deal with your stupid questions.

 

What about me?

The world doesn’t revolve around you, and this is no difference. The flight attendant has no control on whether you make your connecting flight or not, so just don’t even ask them.   Selfishness isn’t going to get you to the plane faster, but what they can help you with is allowing you to exit the plane first. Then it’s up to you if you can home Alone our way through the airport and catch your flight.

 

I’ll turn off my phone when I’m done

No, you will turn it off when the pilot or flight attendant tells you to turn it off. This is a serious crime and if you piss the flight attendant off, they can and will alert the airport authority and have you removed from the plane.

 

The last flight attendant let me

Nobody cares what you’re entitled self thinks you can get away with. Just because some other flight attendant didn’t have the energy to stop you from doing whatever it is you were doing, it doesn’t give you any special right. Plus, they don’t want to hear your sob story about why you are special, I’m sure you are.

 

Are we there yet?

Ok, you are not a child and if you are trying to be funny… you are not. Hearing this even makes me mad. Air travel can be very tedious and having a bad attitude won’t help any situation.

Help me with my heavy bag

The flight attendant isn’t a baggage handler and shouldn’t be expected to lift your overstuffed bag into the overhead compartment. If you aren’t physically able to lift your luggage then ask another passenger and not the flight attendant to help you, I’m sure you can find a strong person to help.

Bomb

NEVER SAY THIS! Seriously, no joke here, you will get arrested and make an ass out of yourself. Also don’t tell the flight attendant that you are not a terrorist, cause literally you are being the definition of one. In this post 9/11 world, this is never acceptable.

How many alcoholic drinks can I order?

Ok you lush, why put a limit on it when if you are cool and not acting out of control, a flight attendant won’t stop serving you. Just order a drink or two at a time and leave it at that. If that isn’t enough, then you do know that you can bring your own airplane bottles of alcohol on the plane. They sell them in most liquor stores and in some airports.

 

 

 

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Graphic courtesy of SilverDoor.co.uk

Photo Courtesy of Cafejunky.com

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Destinations

Why You Should Visit Hawaii

 I break down each island in the chain and tell you why you should visit each one

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Hawaii is paradise on Earth and one of the most traveled to destinations on the planet, so why all the hype? I break down each island in the chain and tell you why you should visit each one. Check out paradise in each of its unique forms from the laid back vibes of Molokai to the big city by the beach in Oahu’s Honolulu.

 

Oahu

Oahu is home to the largest city in all the Hawaiian Islands and is the most populated. There is a huge military population on Oahu as the Navy has its base, Pearl Harbor. Honolulu is the island’s only “big” city and Waikiki is the party destination if you are into that sort of thing. Not all of Oahu is a party destination, as many parts of the island operate at a much slower pace. Check out the North Shore for bohemian beach towns and world-class surfing.

For some interesting attractions, check out the Polynesian Cultural Center or the sunken remains of the USS Arizona at Pearl Harbor. The beaches are world-class and the resorts are massive.

 

Hawaii (Big Island)

The largest of the Hawaiian Islands by far is Hawaii or “the Big Island.” This massive island features almost every climate in its rich ecosystems. There is often snow on top of the mountain peaks that are surrounded by rainforests and deserts. The big island features a wide variety of terrain and activities. Check out some of the best surfing, snorkeling and hiking the world has to offer. The island is split into two main sides, the leeward side, which is very dry and arid, and the wayward side, which is the wettest region in America.

Make sure you check out Mauna Kea, the world’s tallest mountain, measured from the sea floor up. There are also two active volcanoes to check out where you can see lava flows.

 

Maui

The most all-around island in the chain, Maui has a little bit of everything. Every major resort has a luau and we recommend checking one out for some culture and unlimited mai tais. This island has all the outdoor activities you could ever want with some incredible hiking, surfing and snorkeling. The weather is perfect and the sun is usually shining.   Take a hike to the crater of a volcano at the Haleakala National Park.  

 

Kauai

Known as the garden island, Kauai is easily the most beautiful of the main islands. This is also known as the lovers’ island and the retirement island as most guests are on their honeymoon or well, old. There aren’t too many spots open past 8pm and the island’s nightlife is almost non-existent. There is some of the best hiking and outdoor activities in the world.

Check out the Na Pali Coast, a rocky, 20-mile section of the island that is unreachable by car and where you’ll recognize the beginning of Jurassic Park. Take a helicopter tour of amazing waterfalls and secret beaches galore.

The most impressive feature is the Grand Canyon of the Pacific, the Waimea Canyon.

 

 

Lanai

The smallest of the Hawaiian Islands that are open to the public, Lanai is mostly owned privately by billionaire Larry Ellison (Oracle). This island used to be a huge pineapple plantation and is now home to two Four Seasons resorts. Golf is god here as two of the best courses in the US are located here.

 

Molokai

The most remote Hawaiian Island is Molokai, which has hardly any infrastructure and has very few visitors each year. The pace is slow here and they only operate on island time. Come here if you want to chill hardcore and not do many touristy activities, as they don’t really exist here.

 

Find which version of paradise you like the most and check it out. Hawaii has a little of something for everyone; you just have to find it.

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Guides

Airplane Bathroom Hacks

We talked to some flight attendants who shared with us their awesome airplane bathroom hacks.

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An airplane bathroom may be the worst possible place to do your business but when you are 25,000 feet up in the sky, what are your other options?  They are small, inconvenient and not the most sanitary places, but when nature calls and you have nowhere else to go.

We talked to some flight attendants who shared with us their awesome airplane bathroom hacks. When is the best time to go, what you should bring, how to deal with the smell and when are the worst times to use the airplane restroom. Don’t be stuck thousands of feet in the sky with nowhere to go number 2 because there is a huge line, follow our airplane bathroom guide.

 

When to go

Flight attendants told us that there are two perfect times to use the airplane bathroom with having people lined up outside waiting. First is right after the pilot turns off the seatbelt signs. This window closes fast so be ready. Once the plane takes off, it usually takes about 5 minutes to reach cruising altitude, this is the height that the plane levels off and becomes flatter in the air. This is your opportunity so don’t let it slip away. Be prepared to get up the second the seatbelt sign goes off. You would have about 10 minutes to do your business without people lined up outside.   Flight attendants will be just getting up from their jump seats so you won’t have anyone in the aisles to block your path.

The second perfect window is right before the flight attendants start their drink service. Flight attendants don’t like when people are up during the drink service since the carts take up the entire walkway. Getting up right before their drink service takes some timing and situational awareness. Pay attention to the flight attendants, they should all be in the galley area prepping their drink carts, so this is your chance. Pop up quickly before they have a chance to tell you to sit down. Now you’ll have up to 10 minutes all alone in the bathroom. Also the best time to join the “mile-High Club,” if you know what I mean! Don’t stay more than 10 minutes or a flight attendant may come knock on the door and ruin the moment.

 

What to bring

I always travel with bathroom wipes because we all know how cheap airplane bathroom toilet paper is. Something to read is always a nice touch, but don’t be obvious, we don’t need the whole plane to know what’s going on.

 

Smell?

The smell can get you in trouble, not literally, just embarrassing. The flight attendant we spoke with told us a great hack. She brings a packet of coffee grounds into the lavatory to soak up the odor. Ask the flight attendant; they will happily give you one, because everyone will suffer if not. They will be trapped in the same sardine can as everyone else, so they want a no stink situation too.

 

Times to avoid

Right before landing is a terrible time to go to the bathroom. The flight attendants will be upset and the bathroom can be a little bumpy during landings.

The worst time to go is about 15 minutes after the seatbelt sign is taken away. This gives people time to realize they have to use the restroom so the line can be ridiculous.

 

Good luck and use the airplane restroom at these optimum times.

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Destinations

Get The Best Deals On Rental Cars

Let’s examine the best ways to save big on car rentals and certain times when renting a car isn’t even needed.

 

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Rental cars can be quite pricey and vacations are already wallet suckers, so let’s try and find the best deals around. Like anything in travel, timing can be everything, especially when booking a rental car. We spoke with some industry insiders and got the lowdown on the car rental business so you won’t get overcharged for a crappy rental car.

Let’s examine the best ways to save big on car rentals and certain times when renting a car isn’t even needed.

 

Rental Car Yes or No?

First lets determine if you even need a rental car or if you can get around on public transportation alone. Avoiding a rental car all together will save you some scratch and make your vacation much easier. Dealing with rental cars, parking and driving in foreign countries can all be nightmares that can be avoided by not renting a car in the first place.

What kind of vacation are you going on? Are you staying in one location or traveling around to multiple destinations? How close are you staying to town and does your hotel offer free shuttles?

If you are staying at an all-inclusive resort, you won’t need a rental car. Same if your hotel offers free shuttles to attractions. Your best bet is to do some research and figure this one out first.

Sometimes renting a car is your best bet so in that case, follow these simple few hacks to get the best deals.

 

Smaller Sites

The actual site of a car rental site will never have the best deals; instead look at aggregator sites like Costco travel or AAA.com. These sites offer great deals because you already pay for their services so you are getting an inside deal. You are paying for the memberships already so why not take advantage of their deals. I almost exclusively book through these two sites and constantly save big on bookings.

Smaller sites and companies will offer lower prices to compete with the big dogs of the industry. Hertz will never have the same deals as a small service like Fox rental cars has. You may not get the frills with these small companies but you won’t pay a premium either.

 

Get the compact

Stop acting like a nice rental car will make or break your vacation. Rental car companies make their money on upselling you, so stop it and chose the cheapest car. Think about how often you will be in this car, now think about if paying upwards of $50 more a day is worth it, most likely its not.

  

Insurance?

Stop buying the rental car’s insurance. If you have your own car or book with a major credit card, you are already insured. This is the biggest scam in all of car rentals. Stop paying upwards of $25-50 a day in insurance when you are already covered. Just say no!

 

Fees to avoid

Other than insurance, there are countless other bullshit fees they try and charge you. Toll transponders can cost a few dollars a day, same as GPS devices. Stop it, your smart phone has a better map system anyway, so use that and save big. Satellite radio? Are you serious, bring an IPod or some CDs and call it a day.

Save huge by renting off airport property and avoid the stupid fees they charge. Never rent on-site again. I find the site that is at least 20 minutes form the airport and you will have zero lines and pay close to half the price of on-site rental places.

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